Your Hands-On Guide to Solo Sex

Everything you need to know about how to throw a party for one.

Masturbation is something that we rarely talk about, so if you’re lucky enough to discover a technique that works for you, it’s easy to just stick with it forever. But changing up the way you show yourself some love can really open you up, and allow you to discover more about your turn ons and desires. Here, sex experts and educators give their best advice on how to get the most out of your masturbation.

1. Set the mood.

Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator and CEO of b-Vibe, Le Wand, and The Cowgirl, says that taking time to get in the right mindset can help you fully enjoy the moment. Even though you’re by yourself, setting up music, lighting a candle, or putting on sexy lingerie can make a real difference.

2. Keep moving.

It’s tempting to let your vibrator do all the work, but stay in the moment by rocking your hips to the rhythm or going in circles and back-and-forth motions. Sinclair, says that continuous movement will keep the vibrations from overwhelming you. Plus, you might even find a new favorite position as you move around.

3. Experiment with different types of stimulation.

Masturbation doesn’t have to mean exclusively clitoral stimulation or internal stimulation. You can try both! At! The! Same! Damn! Time! There are tons of toys out there with curves to reach your sensitive spots inside your vagina, while also stimulating your clit. For a powerhouse vibrator that whistles while you work, so to speak, try the Curve attachment for a Le Wand vibrator.

4. Test out anal play.

If you’re curious about butt stuff, there’s really no better way to experiment than alone. You can do everything from circling your anus with a lubed finger and then slowly working your way in, or experimenting with butt plugs. Start with a small plug about the size of your finger. Sinclair notes that vibrating plugs can add more sensation than you could give yourself manually, or you can check a weighted plug that helps you achieve a feeling of ‘fullness.’

5. Try a little pillow humping.

Grind your vulva against something, recommends Trisha Borowicz, orgasm equality blogger and director of Science Sex and the Ladies, noting that it’s the way many women first experiment with their bodies. “Keep the panties on — less wet mess and more clit friction — and find something soft (a pillow, a stuffed animal, a stack of neatly folded laundry…). Lay face down with your vulva on top of it, slowly grinding your hips down against it. Adjust the pressure, your position and shape of the object until it feels really good. Once you get to that point, keep your rhythm consistent, take some deep breaths, and ride that stack of laundry straight to orgasm.”

6. Try back off right before you orgasm to make it even better.

The concept is called ‘edging.’ “Don’t just race for the orgasm. Tease yourself. Caress every inch of yourself long before you dip between your thighs,” recommends Self Love Coach, Caitin Grace. “Once you finally move to your clitoris slow everything down. Use soft gentle strokes in amongst some hard and fast. Bring yourself to the edge of orgasm and then slow everything down. Go through this cycle a few times and just ride the waves of pleasure as long as you can.”

7. Let yourself get hand-y.

“Caress yourself with one hand whilst the other one is getting busy on the clitoris,” says Florence Barkway, half of Florence and Reed, the online sex educators and occasional porn directors behind the sex and body positivity YouTube channel Come Curious. “Touching certain parts of the body can make your orgasms even more intense. For some women it might be the breasts and nipples, for others the stomach! It may look silly but if you rub your tummy like you’re hungry, with just a little bit of pressure on the lower stomach, it can lead to a tremendous orgasm.”
Get creative with where you do it and what you do it with. “You can masturbate standing up in the kitchen, laying in the bath, be experimental,” says Reed Amber, the other half of Come Curious. Continue reading here…

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