Super Hot Selfies

Follow these tips (illustrated with a little help from our pal, naked Barbie) and your sexy selfies won’t just stand out, they’ll practically moan with excitement.

1. If You Take It, Assume Everyone Will See It.

If your phone (or your lover’s phone) ever goes missing, you’ll want as little damning evidence on there as possible. If you send naked photos with both your face and nipples in plain view, you could very well end up in a a Google search, a gross meme, terribly embarrassed, or all of the above. Same goes for identifying jewelry or tattoos. Proceed with caution.

2. Send Your Face Or Your Body, Not Both.

Go ahead and send a sexy pout with a suggestive bare shoulder, but if you’re sending your bare butt or boobs leave any identifying parts of your face out. Besides, it’s a lot of work to get a photo where your face AND butt look good (at least it is for me). And remember: a little mystery is sexy. Shadows on a collarbone can be infinitely more seductive than a straight-on tit shot. (Plus, if you can’t be easily identified in your nude selfies, you have that much less to worry about after a messy breakup.)

3. Do Not Send a Crotch Shot Unless Specifically Requested

Let’s be honest, vaginas aren’t exactly the prettiest thing in the world. Even if your face is as gorgeous as Megan Fox’s, if your other “lips” are showing they’re all the viewer is going to be able to focus on. (Same goes for your penis, fellas. Why must you insist on sending us junk shots? We’d much rather see a flexed bicep or that little dip at your hipbone.) Also, it’s really strange when you leave your underwear bunched up around your knees. (Is that a fetish I’m unaware of?) It just looks lazy and weird.

4. Double-Check Your Background.

If a racy selfie of my daughter taken in a filthy bedroom hit the Internet, I’d be more furious about her negligent attention to detail than the photo itself. I don’t care how hot you are – if you’re a slob, it’s gross. Is there trash on the floor behind you? A pile of dirty laundry in the background? White spots on the mirror? Pay attention to what’s in your photo, because while YOU may be focused on your fierce face and excellent rack, WE can see the toilet, toddler, or trashcan in the background – and trust us, it ain’t pretty.

5. Good Lighting Is Key.

If you’re somewhere with excellent lighting, TAKE ADVANTAGE. Capture a few shots to send later on rather than using crappy fluorescent lighting at 10 p.m. when you’re in the mood to send your lover a little something, something. Is it cheating? Perhaps, but unless your beloved asked you what you’re wearing rightthissecond, a hot shot where you’re glowing in the morning sun will keep your mate happy until they can see you again.

Lighting hints: Some of the best places to find good lighting are in hotel rooms during the day. White walls + white sheets = you will practically glow. Standing in front of a window is always better than standing in front of a lamp, although bright, direct sunlight can be a bit harsh. Try turning your phone’s camera on yourself and walk around in front of different windows until you find a spot where you are evenly lit and your eyes sparkle. Continue reading here.

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