How Often Do You Have Bisexual Thoughts?

I Cannot Stop Thinking of Having Sex With Another Woman !

Do this bisexual thoughts come to you regularly?

“No you are not nuts! I think that most of the women here can sympathize with your situation, I know I can. although my husband has not demanded to sleep with any potential partners, he does want to be there and does want to participate with me, just not do anything with the other girl.

And I think this is a fair solution. That way he is still involved, but he just isn’t having sex with another woman. I am curious to know, if he knows you are curious, why would you not tell him that at one point you have been with another woman?

And before you get a friend behind his back, just think about this, how would you feel if you learned that he had a girlfriend behind your back?

I guess you just have to evaluate your relationship and see if it is worth the consequences. as far as your not wanting to have sex often with him, I can relate to that also. hubby and i average 1-2 times a week, and though i can usually make myself cum, i am never the initiator. i just have no desire to have sex. i find my husband sexy, and he is very good in bed, but its the beforehand, i just could care less about having sex. i also think this is because I have such a desire to be with a woman, that I just cannot stop thinking about it, and when he asks me for sex, and I know it is not going to be what I really want, I just can’t put myself in the mood and look forward to it. does this make sense?”

“Answer to first question: are you bisexual now?

Hmm…well I tend to believe that we, as humans, are all bisexual. Though the Kinsey scale asserts a bisexual continuum, bracketed by absolute hetero and homo, I don’t think absolutes exist.

I find it hard to believe that anyone is absolutely anything. So, by may standards, yes, you are bisexual. Now, how you feel about being bisexual is something else entirely. And I get the idea that  you aren’t all that comfortable with the idea.”

“Now that I look back at your post, it reads like you are scared and excited by the identity simultaneously. That’s completely normal. 

I get excited by things that scare the hell out of me! And I also love the journey to make these things not so scary. As I can recall, admitting to spouse that I wanted a woman in a bad way was rather difficult.

Though things are great now. Now I see that you’ve discussed this with him to some extent. You’ve told him how you feel, but he wants it his way.

Pretty typical. Mens egos are fragile, and with the implied lack of sex between you two, I can understand why he might feel a bit threatened. Allowing him to have sex with your consort gives him a sense of control. Your sexuality, emotions, and relationship should not revolve around power or control unless you are very in tune to those aspects. (This should be a whole different thread.)

At any rate, I also understand your desire to want her all to yourself. I see my kids do that with their friends all the time! It doesn’t matter if you’re having sex or not. Sharing is difficult sometimes, especially when dealing with taboo issues such as sex. It is important, however, that you understand that when you do fool around with another women, it is still fooling around. The sex or gender of your “friend” is irrelevant.

If I were to use your argument in your husband’s defense, imagine how you you would feel if he told you he was interested in sleeping with other men? This does happen. Both if us are bi, and we seek out people together and separately. However we are brutally honest with each other and, one always has veto power over the other. So this means we meet each other’s dates and so forth. If I’m interested in someone, I tell my partner, and the same goes for him.

Now, the cool thing is that once we established this understanding, our sex life was replenished. I was able to talk about my feelings, who I was attracted to and why. And the ironic thing is that once we freed each other, my insatiable desire for women had become mysteriously satiated.

That’s not to say that I haven’t been on dates, and that I’m not interested. It’s just that it’s not making me crazy anymore, and I have the ability to really examine how my feelings fluctuate. For example, I tend to want men during ovulation, and the closer I get to menstruation, the more I want to be with women. But that’s me.

Furthermore, I want more sex than my partner can handle sometimes. It’s a good thing he works out! I’ve been known to call him at work and ask him to come home so we can have some lovin’! And he’s turned me down before too! (Not very often though!). What I can say for you and your husband is that you need to have a long talk, especially if you’ve been with someone else behind his back. That’s a big deal, to me. Good luck, and if you need anything, we’re here!”

Must Guys want to be part of it of course, that’s fine!…

“I have been married for 13 years and never been with a woman. My husband and I have talked about it many times, he, being like most men wants to take part, but me on the other hand want it for myself. Anyway, I can look but no play rule comes into affect.

You see my fear is that I could not just have a sexual partner in a woman, there would be feelings (for me) attached. And I feel that would then or could lead to problems down the road.

He says that it would not bother him if I had a girlfriend, but I believe it would. Our marriage has gone through a lot, he had a affair that lasted six months and hide it for 2 years, so I know how very hard it is to think of the person you love having been with and caring for another.

I don’t think one way is best for every couple and I think a lot of communication comes into play.

“You have to meet in the middle with your spouse.” But hey most husband will love a bisexual wife 🙂