Inject New Juice To Your Sex Life!
Oh my god, I just re-read my post yesterday and I’ve noticed an amazing amount of typos and grammar mistakes! Yes, my native tongue is not English BUT I normally do better than that, I guess it was the effects of the alcohol and excessive sex during the weekend. 🙂
Anyway…
This morning a friend of mine send me an email and at first I laughed but afterwards a bit disturbed, here’s why:
Please read the email forward (This was supposed to be funny):
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
> During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
> I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
> The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
> 54 times the sheets were clean
> 17 times it was too late
> 49 times you were too tired
> 20 times it was too hot
> 15 times you pretended to be sleep
> 22 times you had a headache
> 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
> 16 times you said you were too sore
> 12 times it was the wrong time of the month
> 19 times you had to get up early
> 9 times you said weren’t in the mood
> 7 times you were sunburned
> 6 times you were watching the late show
> 5 times you didn’t want to mess up your new hairdo
> 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
> 9 times you said your mother would hear us
>
> Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
>
> 6 times you just lay there
> 8 times you reminded me there’s a crack in the ceiling
> 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
> 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
> 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
>
> KEEP READING…….
>
> =====================================================
>>>
> TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
> I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn’t
> get more than you did:
> 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
> 36 times you did not come home at all
> 21 times you didn’t cum
> 33 times you came too soon
> 19 times you went soft before you got in
> 38 times you worked too late
> 10 times you got cramps in your toes
> 29 times you had to get up early to play golf
> 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
> 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
> 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
> 2 times you had a splinter in your finger
> 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
> 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
> 98 times you were too busy watching TV
> Of the times we did get together:
> The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
> I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, “Would you
> prefer me on my back or kneeling?”
> The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to
> breathe.
What a horrendous thing!
My question is why do this boredom never happens to swinger couples?
I think the answer is obvious!
Mankind IS NOT Monogamous!, PERIOD
When are we going to learn that lesson???
I wish I can teach this lesson to as many couples as possible…
In fact I can: Make sure to AT LEAST, browse to my website:
xoxo
Suzy
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I recommend you to download the Book All Women Are Bisexual. |
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