Confession of a Happy Lesbian

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KOLKATA: When 16-year-old Raunak (name changed) wants to feel pampered, the first thing he does is call up his papa. “Itna toh aap mere liye kar hi sakte ho. Papa hone ke waastey (This is something you ought to do for me. After all, you are my dad),” he says with an impish smile. It would be the usual father-son scene in any home but the only difference here is that Raunak calls her papa, Sonalidi.

“If I start addressing someone by a particular name, I can’t change it. My parents have parted ways, but I continue to call my biological father ‘Pa’. My mother married Sonalidi on March 18, 2011, at Lake Kalibari. Sonalidi is my papa and I share some of my most intimate secrets with her. Even my mother doesn’t know some of these secrets,” says Raunak, who is working at a call centre before joining Class XI.

Children like Raunak are no longer exceptions in same-sex relationships. More and more lesbian couples want to be parents.

Sandy, who is in a lesbian relationship with Roshni (name changed), says that she loves her partner’s son like her own. Sushmita, an athlete from Serampore, has been in a relationship with Mahie (name changed) who is now pregnant. Once the baby is born, Mahie plans to dissolve her marriage and move in with Sushmita. As Sonali, Sandy and Sushmita happily slip into father-figure roles, they are also inspiring many others within the lesbian community to come out in the open.

While the law might not recognize such marriages, there is no dearth of curiosity over how a woman who is married and is a mother can then live happily ever after as a lesbian.

The revelation

Sitting in her posh flat in Teghoria, north Kolkata, Alka Kedwal recalls how she got clarity about her own sexuality. “Being a Rajput, it was important for my family to get me married to the first ‘rishta’ that came for me. I was only 18. My father was an IAF pilot and my mother a gynaecologist and I came from an affluent family. But my in-laws were very conservative. They insisted that I cover my face with my pallu and wear all the heavy gold jewellery all the time. I felt imprisoned. For the first two to three years, I enjoyed sex with my husband. Raunak was born. But my in-laws never accepted him because he was born very weak. That hurt and with the constant friction with my mother-in-law I could no longer live with them. My husband and I moved out to Noida with the kid.”

She took up a job and once, while vacationing in Mumbai, met a girl. The chemistry was electric, she recalls. She found what she was missing all these years. When the girl came to Delhi for two days, Alka insisted that she stay back for three months at her expense. The two got close, introduced each other as sisters, and opened a coffee shop in Mumbai. “Initially, I was perplexed at being attracted to a girl. I thought there was something wrong with me. But then, when I met many such girls in same-sex relationships, I realized that I was a late-bloomer. Eight years after being in love, I popped the question of getting physically close. She agreed.”

It didn’t last long because Alka caught her partner two-timing with another girl and also a guy. “But I’ve never again felt attracted to a man. I had had sex with my husband because it was a done thing after marriage. But what I got from my lesbian relationship was care, understanding, love, affection and sexual satisfaction,” Alka says.

Fighting the taboo

In Sandy’s case, it was a chance encounter on a social networking site that got her close to her partner in Varanasi. “Roshni has a 12-year-old son but that hasn’t changed anything about our relationship. As a teenager, she was attracted towards girls but nobody in her family would ever respect that choice. She was married off and had a conjugal life with her husband. But when she told her in-laws that she no more liked her husband’s touch, they were baffled. For four years, she compromised till she got pregnant accidentally. A son was born but she knew that leading a conjugal life was not possible for her. She has sympathy for her husband but no attachment. When I went to meet her, I realized that I could not separate her from her son. So, I have asked her to take her time and wait for her husband to grant divorce. Then the three of us will move in,” says Sandy. Continue reading here.

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